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Hope

from Selftitled by Lawine

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about

Hope is a strange emotion. It can be very constructive when being in a very awful situation and there seems no way out. There have been stories of many who survived life threatening situation because they had hope.
There’s also a downside. Hope can be disarming when all arms are needed. Hope has a weird passive aspect because it is an expectation (of a person or situation) in the future. When I speak of hope, I place it out of my hands. It’s out of my control. In a way I completely understand that since a lot aspects in life are out of my hands. I hope for good health or nice weather. But when it comes to daily life and revolutionary actions (preferably combined), I try not to put too much faith in hope…. Dig it? I’d rather act than ask passively. If I want to eat a nice diner, I don’t hope for tasty food entering my mouth at some point in time. No, I do everything in my power and skills to cook a nice plate of yummy food. The first couple of times it might taste like garbage, but when I keep trying and improving and eventually I have a nice diner. That also means I have to reflect on what I’ve done in the past and learn from that.
The same goes for direct action. I will not ask governments to change. First of all, they will never change (but that’s a slightly different topic). Secondly (and sticking to the subject), I demand change by working on the change I’d wish to see in a most direct way. I might not have the skills (yet), I might do a few (or a whole fucking lot) silly dull actions. But I will do everything in my power and skills to reach my goals. Not next year, not tomorrow. Now.
That means a lot of self-reflection as well. As I act, I find out that I’m a horrible thief stealing building material for the autonomous centre. I’m way too nervous, I can’t see very well in the dark and I don’t run quick enough to escape from the cops. As I act, I also find out that I’m an excellent cook and I love to prepare decent food for homeless people.
So let’s not hope for a better world. Let’s make that world today.

lyrics

Today I’ve lost every last breath of hope. I coughed it up, spat it out. And it left me shaking with emptiness at first.
Anger fights it way up, pushes everything aside. Questions are replaced by demands.
Relief and fear got a hold of me. “What to do next? What to do now?” are burning questions I’m not willing (and able) to answer (yet).
Anger fights it way up, pushes everything aside. Questions are replaced by demands.
Realization.
Of how hope always pushed me down. Of how hope strangled today’s actions and promised vague futures. Of how hope traded all weapons for sorry excuses.
Hopelessly I reclaim my dreams, my control.
Today, I hope not. I do.

credits

from Selftitled, released January 30, 2013

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Lawine Nijmegen, Netherlands

Lawine is a band, we make alot of noise and like hardcore and punk

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